The Chris Cross Hand-Off: Everyone Wants to Know Dan..

No, no, no, no, that's not how it goes. Stop that. Stop that. It doesn't go one, two, whatever, yo. Check me out right here, yo. It goes one, two, buckle my shoe. Joan, back me up on this. It's not one, two, back me up, yo. It's one, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four. Shut the door. Shut the, Joan and I know. See, Joan, we're the wokenest here. Many such cases. But we're woke in the sense that we know these things. As opposed to you two, you go to that hip-hop stuff that nobody likes that. Nobody likes it. Yeah, nobody likes that stuff. Right, Joan? It's true. Can you turn it back up, Sam? I was kind of enjoying it. It's a victory. That's victory by B.I.G. So. So, no, she did. Happy birthday. No, no, no, hold on. Hold on. Hold on, everybody. Chris. Did Marsha bring you those? Because I've been hearing. I've been hearing you're in the tank for Marsha Blackburn. I wanted to wish you happy birthday. And I brought you some fortune cookies, courtesy of Marsha Blackburn. She did not really do this, did she? No, she didn't. Okay. Those are actually from our friend Lindsay. All right. Who stopped by and gave me some fortune cookies. Oh, you know. I'm going to read my fortune on the air. I'll read my fortune too. First, let's learn Chinese. China. That's funny. Learn some Chinese. Oh, let's go. My present plans are going to succeed. Really? Yeah. All right. Currently, I've been planning to just troll you throughout the segment. China. You know what mine says? You're in the tank from Marsha Blackburn. What? Have you seen the viral video on Instagram? I don't know if the lady's a Democrat or a Republican. I just know she's very, very funny. Right. Where she's like, she's pretending to be Marsha Blackburn. And she's like, I'm tired of little Italy's popping up everywhere. You know what I'm going to do to Italy? And she just like snaps a bunch of pasta. Throws a bunch of pizza around. Yeah. Then she goes after Mexico and she just starts crunching taco shells. She's like, yeah, take that. Okay, that's funny. Then she went after Ireland, and she tried to break a potato with her bare hands, but she couldn't. So she broke out a knife. She's like, that's what I'm going to do to Ireland. I'm tired of them dancing without moving their arms. You know, she could be against, like, Greeks and, like, start crushing a bunch of feta cheese. Stomping on yogurt. By the way, my fortune actually says, you will always be surrounded by true friends. When? Oh. When does this start? Sure is it during this shift. Packed ass. What would you do if your online store converted 36% more shoppers? You could take 36% more vacation. Another Pinacolada? Yes, please. Open a new retail location. With 36% more square feet. Fantastic. Hire 36% more help. You're hired and you're hired. Shopify has the world's best converting checkout, up to 36% better than other e-commerce platforms. What you do with those extra sales is up to you. Switch to Shopify today at Shopify.com slash listen and get a $1.com.com.

Check engine, ABS, or maintenance light on? Take the guesswork out of your warning lights with O'Reilly Veriscan. The service is free and provides a report with solutions verified by ASE certified master technicians. And if you need help, we could recommend a shop for you. Ask for O'Reilly Veriscan today. Oh, oh, O'Reilly, Auto Parts. By the way, so this is great. So I have Michael Patrick Leahy on talking about all these Democrat donations to John Rose. Oh, no, no, hold on. I have some opinions. Okay, I'm sure that you do. But hold, let me get mine out first. So, by the way, I've texted John Rose and no response. He's going to be on my show tomorrow. Oh, okay. You get first crack out of him. I'm in the tank for John Rose. Clearly. No, no, no, but this is the funny thing. So I have Michael Patrick Leah on. He had just posted a story to the Tennessee star about all these Democrat donations, right? So then I say, well, because I'm just a question asker, right? I just, you know, I try to be fair. What you do? Huh? It's what you do. Yeah, it's what I do. So then I said, well, that's interesting that he did that way back when because he's got 100% heritage action score, which shows that he's very conservative. And so now people are like, oh, so you're in the tank for John Rose. And I'm like, if I was in the tank for John Rose, I wouldn't have had Michael Patrick Leahy on talking about the donations. Come on, you know what I want to do sometimes? Tell me, Dan. I want to take the microphone and just choke it. choke it like i'm choking people that are like listening and accusing me of being in the tank for anybody are we able to clip video we we will definitely clip that because i'm glad you explained to the listening audience that you were choking the microphone because to the visual audience you were stroking if somebody had you on mute why do you always go this route sam i'm just saying if somebody had you on mute on their tv on youtube and they walked in and saw that just aggressively double handing it they would have been a little bit thrown off So the Fortune cookie clearly was wrong, Joan, when it said that I'm surrounded by friends. And Joan checked out. That's where we are today. Is it 9 o'clock yet? Michael Patrick Leahy, I like him. I like his reporting. They do a good job over the Tennessee Star. But how blatant is it that you are in the Marsha Blackburn camp? You're not talking about me. You're talking about Michael. Michael Patrick Leahy. Yeah. Is he? I don't know. Come on. I have no idea. You don't think so? I heard that interview. Does he have anything negative to say about Marsha Blackburn? I'm sure if you were to do some digging, you'd find plenty of eyebrow raising things in her past. Probably, but okay. Do you know what I'm saying? No, no, no. Okay. Was he factual in saying that Marsha Blackburn was instrumental in preventing the income tax? A lot of the vast staff here at WTOS says that it's stolen. No, no, no. They say stolen valor. Johnny B., who was right there with Phil V. said that the whole stolen valor, May beaver's thing, is a bunch of bovine scatology. That's what Johnny B said. I've heard that multiple people said they just left it to beaver.

Is that what they said? That's what they said. Okay. I wasn't here. I wasn't here either. But, I mean, as the lore goes. The lore. The lore. The Tennessee lore on the whole income tax thing is it was Blackburn, Phil V. It was, May Beavers was part of it, I guess. And Steve Gill. That's who was involved. And I said on my show the exact same thing that Johnny B told me directly, Marcia and Phil basically got that thing done. But then other people said that they were at a campaign event and that Marsha Blackburn had been going up second. And then she went up first one time and just happened to steal the entire beaver speech. If that's the case, why has the beaver people not come out and said? Because, I mean, May is certainly outspoken. I think I've interviewed her a couple of times many, many years ago. But why hasn't May beavers come out and clarified then? That's a good point. Does anybody know May beavers? I don't. I don't have her info. But why do we get, you know what? Let's get May beavers on. Get May beavers on the phone. Let's end the stolen valor debate once in for all. Let's end the stolen valor debate. I don't know anybody who would know. State wraps would know State. So May beavers, right? I groked it. Yes. uh grok lists may beavers above Marsha Blackburn croc says level of importance in regards to preventing a state income tax in tennessee may beavers extremely high often described as core leader Marsha Blackburn very high key public face of the opposition so it ranks a little one a little one b yeah okay whatever like again i don't have a dog in this fight so i don't know You still don't know who you're voting for? No, I don't know. Oh, my goodness gracious. Early voting is about to be over again. Amy and I talked about this over the weekend. We're driving down Mount Juliet Road, heading south towards Lebanon. We passed the school where they're doing early voting. And she said, do you want to go vote? And I said, no, I don't want to go vote. I don't know who I'm going to vote for yet. Are you kidding me? How do you not know? How do you not know? At this point. May I remind both of you that according to the Chinese, you're supposed to be my friends. I'm not going nuts. I'm not going nuts. I feel like I wouldn't be your friend if I didn't, you know, kind of accuse you of lying here. Are you waiting for something else to come out? Something like that would really push your vote into one candidate or not? How do you know? Did the John Rose donation story? You were like, this is exactly why I waited. It's exactly why I waited, man. We don't know what's going to happen. By the way, play that again one more time. I'm not going nuts. So I told this really bad joke.

And we're going to get it again? Maybe twice? I can't, no, I can't in morning drive tell the really bad joke that I told in the presence of one Matt Murphy. Oh, yeah, this is when you guys were hanging out over the weekend. And then I got a pity invite from Murphy during the podcast recording on Thursday once he found out that it was my birthday all weekend. All weekend. It's a birthday weekend. Yeah, 100%. Hold on. So, time out. You told me earlier that your lovely wife got a week. You only get a weekend? Well, we're going to, we got, there's some run over, you know. Is there some run over? We're still going to, we're probably going to go to In and Out tonight. Addie boy. Put a little candle on the cheeseburgers. What are you going to do? Dude, I literally had a candle in lasagna last night. Did you really? Awesome. That's all. Now, what are you like 42? No, I'm 38. I know. I knew that. I'm just messing with you. Listen. The moral of the story here is that Dan and Matt knew it was my birthday, and they chose not to invite me. Dan, I didn't even get a text from Dan. I thought your fortune cookie said we were friends. I literally said happy birthday to you on Thursday. I said when we were recording the podcast, I said, happy birthday. I didn't know it was your birthday. Okay, can I ask you a question? It was like in passing. It was like, you were like, once you found out, you were like, oh, happy birthday. Take the trash out of the studio. This is the moment we find out Chris Hand has the mentality of a 13-year-old girl. He was so, Dan, I'm always so caring and kind with your birthday. Oh, Dan didn't acknowledge my birthday weekend. I get Dan Gifts. Really? Did you get me a gift last year? I did. What did you? I just gave you a fortune cookie. You know what I'm going to do? A third party fortune cookie. I'm going to, that's not your business, Joan. You only do the news. You re-gifted it. It's like the label maker in Seinfeld. That's what you did to me. You know what? Since stolen valor is clearly the topic, I stole Lindsay's valor by giving that to you. Thank you, Lindsay. By the way, I say thank you to Lindsay because she's the one who actually. All right, so I'm going to go back. to December 26th of 2025, and I'm going to see if you sent me a happy birthday message. By all means. I don't think that you did. Oh, I know it's there. You know what the problem is? We text a lot. You're going to be scrolling for a while. I'm going to be scrolling forever. Can't you go to the search bar in the conversation and type in? I don't know if I'm not that advanced. I'm not that advanced in texting. Like, I don't really know actually how it works. Should be able to type in in the search bar of the conversation, happy birthday, and it should pull up anything highlighted by that. I left my key card at home one day, and Mason had texted me the other gate code, and I just typed in code. Found it. Really? Yep. Okay. Well, I don't know. This must be compelling radio as both Chris and I are going back to December 26th of 2025 to see if he actually wished me a happy birthday. By the way, it's got to be on my actual birthday.

Why? You said happy birthday to him on Thursday and his birthday was Friday. Thank you, Joan. Joan, you only cover the news. My birthday was Sunday. I'm the only one. Joan didn't wish me a happy birthday either, by the way. I'm the only one here that did it. Jay Jones, Jay Jones overly defending me because she feels guilty as well. Hold on. Okay, Sam wished you a happy birthday on your birthday, and you never responded to him. He's, you want to talk about a 13-year-old girl mentality? Sam didn't wish me a happy birthday? Yeah. Did he really? Yeah. Did you really wish me happy birthday? Yeah. Yesterday, 818 in the morning. Oh. Via text? Yeah. You know what? I was cheap with it, though. I'll be honest. I sent you a happy birthday, too. You clearly didn't see it. And now, and now your phone deleted it. I responded to Sam. I did get a thank you. When the moments in your life are too important to miss, you can trust O'Reilly Auto Parts to keep you and your plans on the road. Our professional parts people can test your vehicle's battery and even give it a charge if needed. In most cases, we can install your new battery for free. It's just one of the many services we provide at O'Reilly Auto Parts to ensure life's best moments don't find you stranded.

24 hours later. Maybe 30 seconds ago. But I responded to him. I went simple, Snoopy on top of his house, going happy birthday. All right. Anyway, you know what? We'll solve this tomorrow because I'll look through, I'll spend two hours going through all of our text messages scrolling to see if I got a birthday message from you in 2025. Perfect. So did you ever put it together that... Kaitlan Collins does indeed look like Dylan Mulvaney. 100%. You can't unsee it now. We talked about that earlier. We can't... Unsee it. So the left is saying that Trump bombed last or bombed at the White House Correspondents Dinner. But I thought he was very funny. It's just he's in a room full of people that hate him and are butt hurt by every joke he makes. Oh, every single joke. By the way, for people that feel like they need to defend Kaitlan Collins, this is the highlight of her weekend. Oh, yeah. Because all the attention is on her. All the attention is on her. And she gets to, and here's the other thing. What do Democrats value almost more than anything else, victim status, right? So now she gets to play the victim for probably the next week or so. The rest of her life. Or the rest of her life. I thought trans women were women and are beautiful. So for them to think that this is an insult. I find that very bigoted. Do you find it? I do. Bigoted? Okay, good. By the way, what did you do on your birthday? So we, I slept in a little bit. Yeah. Then we skateboarded with the boys out in the driveway. We did a lot of skateboarding. And we went on a... Do yourself actually skateboard? Yeah. Do you? Yeah. You do the kick thing? Well, no, not all that. But I can balance and get some speed. And then we went... Hold on that. Do you know how I, when my son... was interested in this many years ago when he was into skateboarding. So, hey, dad, why don't you try it? So, of course, I try it. Did you eat it? Did you hurt? So I actually stayed on the board for quite some time. And then I was going so fast. that I kind of like... Death wobbles? Steered... I was able to steer into some grass, and I steered into the grass. It went flying. Oh, my goodness gracious. Only we had ring doorbells back then. I know, right? Anyway, so... Then we went on a Facebook Marketplace adventure, and me and the wife drove out to Lebanon. We had to get some chairs. We got a good deal on chairs. Oh, good. It was very excited. Don't you love that? It's awesome. What kind of chairs? Swivel sitting chairs.

Okay. My wife said this is the one time the algorithm favored her because she'd been looking at them and then it popped up on the marketplace. Oh, really? Okay, very good. We got some chairs. It was pretty cool. Well, Chris, happy birthday. Thank you, Dan. Better late than ever. But I was early and late. So I think that's got to count for something. It does. It does it? It does. Okay, good. Don't let him go that easy. Come on. Joan, you only do the news. Don't worry. Do you like how? I have a whole monologue prepared for Mandis when I get into my show. About how I'm in the tank for John Rose. And by the way, I will also say. In the tank for Fritz. I don't understand what's going on. That's not true. When I did the interview with Fritz, people said I was in the tank for Fritz. Like I just, I don't know what, why can't I just be fair and balance? It's the cheapest tank to be. And there's not a lot of money behind that campaign. Behind what, Fritz? Yeah. If you're going to get paid off by any candidate, Rose or Blackburn, that's the route to go. Nobody's paying me. Trust me on that one. So anyway. Well, very good. Well, you know what? If I forgot to say it, Chris, happy birthday. Thank you. So when are you going to decide who you're voting for? Is that like as you pull up in the parking lot? You know what? You're going to wait until you get to the machine? I might. What's it to you? I'm just curious. It is my right as an American to vote is confidential. Right? It's confidential, right? Nobody can look at it up. Anyway, it's confidential, and that's what I'm going to do. I don't get involved in primaries. I vote for who I vote for, and then I support my party. Dan Sullivan going to vote on the way to the event, August 6th at Hop Springs and Murphysboro. Just so he can say he... That's a good idea. We'll ask you. We'll ask you at the event. Who you voted for? I can be on my phone. See, they won't let me do it, but I'd be on my phone. and broadcast live. I'd get arrested. I'd be the guy that gets arrested. And broadcast live from my voting booth. There you go. There you go. Do it. I'm not going to do that. Why not? Well, because they'll take my phone away and I'll get arrested. People post their vote all the time. You're not going to get arrested. You can't. You can't. I have seen tons of polling machines that are lit up with the candidate of choice and someone hitting. Okay. How many of them have been radio people? Like, that would be silly. I'm going to go into a voting booth and I'm going to broadcast live my voting booth and vote while I'm FaceTiming or on the... I would actually... I would not FaceTime. I'd do it on the air with Chris. Because I'm going to do it about 10 o'clock. I'm going to leave right here. I'm going to leave here on August 6th. And I'm going to go and... And that's when I'll vote. Will you call into my show after you decide who you voted for? Maybe. I might. Let the people know. Dude, nobody is clamoring to find out who I've... There's a lot of clamoring. I promise you, no one is clamoring for me. I've had so many people. They've said to me, they said, I understand that you're voting for Fritz. And Murphy said he's only voting for the guy that wants to debate. Yeah. And Guy Benson's going to vote for Jerry Green. But what we want to know is... I'm just kidding, Jen. I love you. But what we want to know is who's Dan voting for? Because that's really... It's going to be a couple dozen holdouts that aren't ready to place their vote until they hear from the mandis. Well, then they got to figure it out because, you know, in that sense, I'm not an influencer. Do your homework and vote for who you want to vote for.