Coachella Recap 2026

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All right. So first, Ben, I want to talk about people are going absolutely broke, going to Coachella. So first of all, I'm assuming your advice would be to not go. Yes, that is my advice. You nailed it. Right on the money. If you don't have the money to do things, you probably should not do those things. And, you know, you can fire a festival this thing, I suppose. What is it? General admission is $799? That's a, that's general. I mean, it seems like if you're wasting that much money, you may as well get the VIP admission, right? Like, VIP's $1,300. So I feel like if you're already broke, you may as well be dead ass broke. And there's whole videos on TikTok on the internet talking about you'll spend at least $800 on food while you're there too. I mean, like $40 pizzas and French fries. Is the food made of gold? Like $40 French fries? That sounds bad. I think that this is a bad idea. Now, I will admit that you said that food price is a $40 pizza. And I thought to myself, kosher pizza is pretty expensive. But it is not $40, actually. So that is a lot of... I mean, let's be fair, they are setting up an entire city in the mud again. And you just hope that there's not another one of those gigantic rainstorms that turns the whole thing into STDs in the mud. I'm literally going to cry. Look at my tent running away. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my god, oh my God, oh my God. Okay, so let's start with the most, I guess, viral thing right now, which is Justin Bieber's performance. So without an agent, he negotiated himself the highest paid salary, I guess that's how you say it, $10 million for this appearance. So can we roll this clip, show him what it looks like. It's nostalgic. He's kind of... Wi-Fi, man. Come on. He's controlling the computer himself. He's playing old videos from his channel. It's vibes, you know? Honestly, points to him. Seriously, points to him. Now, let's be real about this. I mean, Justin Bieber could do anything up there and get paid $10 million. So, you know, everybody who's upset with him, I guess, for not, what, doing like a pyrotechnic spectacular? Why? Why are you upset? You wanted to see Justin Bieber. He showed up. He did his authentic thing. And, you know, good for him. That's fine. That's a man making his money right there. Did people walk away, like, really upset about the show? Is that the critique here? Yeah, they're saying, oh, he didn't even try. He's headlining and... I mean, did he sing? Or he just showed old clips on himself. Yeah, and he harmonized. Let's play this. He harmonized with himself, baby Justin. I gotta see you, boo. Get his hearts all over the world tonight. Yeah, there's hearts all over the world tonight. That needs you, boo. Sarah doesn't want to be in his heart's all over the world tonight. Say there's hearts all over the world tonight. Hey, little mama. Oh, you're a stoner. Sarah doesn't want to posit. She's enjoying this. Okay. He's not really harmonizing on himself as much as just singing an octave lower. But, okay. Honestly, kind of charming. I'm not sure why people are upset about that. That's kind of charming. Do you see the inner child healing? I mean, is that the shtick? He's healing his inner child? I mean... People got emotional. I understand. That passage of time is always emotional for people. You can smirk at me and you can laugh at me. And you can... And this comes in, you know, like Hannah Montana, okay? Just had her 20th anniversary special. Yeah.

I don't like it. That's your culture is yodeling? It's a call. Is this burning man? What's going? Okay, so, yeah, she's culturally ignorant, but also who cares? I mean, I knew what that was because my wife is of Moroccan extraction. And so this is a thing that actually gets done a lot in Arabic cultures. Yes, Sephardic. Yeah, Sephardic culture. Exactly. So Safari Jews do that. I can't do it at all, right? I'm Ashkenazi. I'm Ashkenazi too, so I'm not even going to try. No shot. Like, I can't do it at all. But my kids can and my wife can and her entire family can. So I knew what that was immediately, but I know they were mad at Sabrina Carpenter for not knowing what that was, which is like, who cares? Also, like, that's what's pissing you off? Of all the things she does, that's the one that got you? She did apologize afterwards and said that she was, like, trying to be sarcastic or, like, make a joke, and it just, like, did it come off well? Oh, my God. Like, she was being sarcastic. Why is she just say, I'm sorry I didn't recognize the call. Like, why is she have to apologize in the first place? That's so stupid. On the list of sins that, on the list of terrible things that Sabrina Carpenter brings to the world, this does not even chart in like the top 200. Folks, you've seen the headlines, you know, the story. Debt is exploding. And guess what? It is hitting your wallet. Fees stack up. That's not an accident. It's the system working exactly as designed. Minimum payments are built to keep you in debt. That's where our sponsor, PDS debt comes in, helping people break free and take back control of their money. Credit cards, personal loans, medical bills, it all adds up. That's the reality most people face. But... PDS debt helps you flip the script. They don't just crunch numbers. They actually look at your situation. They figure out what's really going on. They build a plan to help you get out of debt faster. No minimum credit score, no nonsense, just smart strategies to cut what you owe and start keeping your money where it belongs. In your pocket. PDS debt is A plus rated by the Better Business Bureau with thousands of five-star views on Google and Trust Pilot. Why? Because they deliver results. Real people, real savings, real freedom from debt. And here's the thing. Every month you wait costs you, interest tax, fees, pile up. The best time to start, that was yesterday. The second best, it's right now. When the numbers are clear, act, take back control in 30 seconds, get your free, personalized assessment, and the best option for you at PDSDet.com slash Josh Shapiro. That's PDS Debt.com slash Josh Shapiro. Okay, clip three, let's look at, I'm not, no context. Oh, no. It's just an image. Oh, no. Why is Lizzo being by a Lubbubu? Oh, no. Let's go to the video.

No, no. I hate that. Um, pockets like Lizzo. Let's look at the stats. I've got the facts. My money like Lizzo, my pockets are fat. I'm wondering what the audience is to watch Lizzo get railed by a Lubu. What is the who is who is the audience for this? Louvoo's are demonic. We all know this. Yes my goodness that is can we go back to like Justin Bieber singing with himself like that like that was the thing that was controversial I did that was that was bad do not do not like all right last clip here is this is just really funny this is Paris Hilton and her bodyguard the running is not going well this poor guy Also, her bodyguard, like she's out running the bodyguard. Oh, she's just like wandering around and he's kind of following her around. Man. He's like, damn, she's taken off again. Okay, so yeah, there she goes. There she goes riding the imaginary horse. And he's through the meadow. I gotta say, my broader critique here, aside from Paris Hilton wearing a wedding dress, which I don't fully understand, her bodyguard does not seem to be in extraordinary shape. Maybe he has extraordinary ninja skills to kick in at a certain point, but if you can't keep up with Paris Hilton in six-inch heels, gallivanting around a meadow in a wedding dress, then I think that says more about your fitness level than it does about Paris Hilton being weird. I can give you just a couple outfits for funzies. Okay, why don't you do it? Okay. Okay, this is, you know. I mean, that seems like relatively normal for Coachella now. Right, this is Charlie, so we're okay with this one. I mean, I'm not okay with any of those, but like we can rate it on a scale of would you let your daughter wear this? I mean, it's going to be zero of course for everything. I mean, no, no. Okay, next. But on a scale of like truly offensive, like I don't think this thing even charts at Coachella, does it? No, you're right. Let's keep going. I don't know how to say this name. It's like cowboy stripper. Cowboys stripper slash geisha? Well, that's the gown, right? Like it's kind of got like that that tight with the slit and all of that. Yes? No? Am I wrong? No. That is not a good look. And I do appreciate the solidarity between the belt buckle and the glasses, which are the same shape. Okay. That's a really good thing. I know. Next is Madison. What is, or Addison Ray? Addison Ray is what? The porn star? She's a TikToker. She's a TikToker. She's also the star of the movie. What is it? He's all that. Oh. The remake. Do not recommend. Okay. So it's just, it's Halloween stripper time. It's what I'm getting from Coachella. Yeah, she performed at Coachella. Her chest says fame. On it? So she has famous boobs? Famous boobs. Famous boobs. The name of her tour, Famous boobs. Just said her song is called Fame as a Gun. Fame is a Chicken. Okay, next. What is happening here? Listen. I don't want to know. She's from sinners? Or one battle after another? Oh, that's that, oh, yeah.

She was abducted by aliens and then converted to their species. And then Little Nas X put her through fashion training. Either that or she was swimming in the ocean and she was caught in a fishnet. And they pulled her in, but it was too late. She'd already been half colonized by fish jeans. I mean, this seems like, again, we're now back to, like, quasi-normality, I suppose. Oh, no, she kind of looks like she's in jammies. I mean, yeah, but, again, this is a... You just took me from, like, fish face over there to a person who's wearing a knightie. And put on some pants. Ben, you know, there's no me coming back without mentioning the Kardashians, of course. Of course. They were actually... To me, I think the most normally dressed people at Coachella. So they were the least crazy people at the asylum? Shockingly, but yes. Okay. Kendall making out with Jacob Allardy? Yeah, yeah, Kendall was making out with, well, rumored to be making out with Jacob Ballardy. Who will she not make out with? This is unsurprising. You could have said any name at the end of that sentence. And I would have said, well, you know. This is Heidi Klum. She went in disguise. I'm trying to figure out the giant poop stain. Is that like a, is that on purpose? What is, but why? Um.

Why does she look like she was in some sort of house fire while she was painting it? She's 52, by the way. She's 52. This is always going to be my critique. Now and forever. If you are 52 years old, you should not be dressing like this. I don't care what kind of shape you're in. You should not be doing that. You should be a human being of your age. Here is my message to the people of Coachella. To all the people of Coachella. Grow up. Like, seriously, grow up. It's one that, go to a concert, enjoy yourself. But if you're going to dress like a clown, then don't expect everyone to treat you with respect. If you're going to blow your life savings on some French fries with caviar on them, that's a you problem, my friends. That one is not on the rest of us. And if you enjoy the warblings of many of these people, then congrats on your tone deafness. Let's look at the stats. I've got the facts. My money like lives with my pockets are fat. Home yeah, that big, don't be a whack. Dogg, it's a Yamika, homie, no cap. Look at the graphs, look at my charts, you're blowing money on strippers and cars. You go into prison, I'm on television, dogs, no one knows who you are. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out... That's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upbound payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12-month plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. See terms.