Helping North Dakota Learners Start School Strong

One in four adults is caring for someone they love in North Dakota. If that's you, AARP can help. The Family Caregiving Kit is available at aARP.org slash ND Care Kit. This is Main Street on Prairie Public. I'm Craig Blumen Shine. Beginning of a school year brings excitement, but it can also bring uncertainty for students of every age and their parents. Families may wonder whether their child is ready for school this year, how involved they should be, what to do about homework and screen time, and when a difficult transition may signal that a child needs additional help. North Dakota Teacher of the Year Franny Tunset joins us. With practical advice for building curiosity, confidence, and healthy learning habits, she'll also explain how parents and teachers can work together to help children from kindergarten through high school feel known, supported, and ready to learn. Rannie, it's already almost school time. Welcome back to Main Street. It is. Thanks for having me here, Craig. And I do, before we begin this conversation, I do just want to ground it in one thing that as a parent, I don't always get it right all the time. And I'm sure if Craig as a parent, you can relate to that. You know, we make mistakes and we second guess ourselves. And there's days where I probably could have done a heck of a lot better job because I think parenting is a continual process of growing and adapting and figuring out like how can we do things better. So I'm not coming into this conversation saying I have all the answers, but I'm really excited to talk today and just kind of be thought partners about some of these questions that you had. Oh, I really appreciate it. And I remember the days, right? I mean, we're trying to figure it out. This happened in first grade. This happened in second grade. And then all of a sudden, we're in high school and we've got different things to think about every year. But when you think about a young child who seems ready to learn what quality are habits. that they might have already come to mind, Franie. Yeah. You know, when I think of a young child who's truly ready to learn, I think of a child who is curious and excited and confident to try even if it's wrong and comfortable enough to make those mistakes. They don't necessarily need to know how to read or write or do math perfectly yet. But I think what mattered to me when I was a kindergarten teacher and what I see today still in school is that we want students to be eager to explore the world around them and to ask questions, even when those questions maybe don't have easy answers. I think those soft skills, being able to listen, to communicate, to take turns, to work with others, to persevere when things are hard and to show kindness are some of the best skills that our kids can have. Knowing our letters are great, knowing our numbers are great for the littles, but. being social and being comfortable in a social environment for any how can families then help with that what can they do now before even school starts or maybe even after the first few days of schools to make that transition earlier when they may have been at home or somewhere else all summer long and now here we go yeah what time

I want to back up there for just a second, Craig. And you know, I used to teach kindergarten for four years. And I loved every second of kindergarten. It is such a gift. And I think one of the things that I really loved was seeing how differently students did enter the classroom, right? You'd have students that came in knowing all of their letters, all of their numbers, colors, shapes. And you had some that were still learning even what a color was. But I think both groups were absolutely capable of growing and thriving. And of course, those early academic skills matter because they give students a foundation. regardless of where children enter, where they enter public schools, we're going to reach them and we're going to make sure that they are able to grow. But you're so right, you know, a child who walks through the door curious or willing to try, able to connect with others and excited to learn has something incredibly valuable, even if they don't have all of those other academic pre-skills ready. So I think the biggest thing that families can start doing right now is to really start easing into a school routine. without making it feel like school has already started. And I know that's something that we're working really hard over at the Tonseth household. I said my maiden name there for a second, Craig. Oh my goodness. My husband will wonder what's going on. So I think the biggest thing families can do is to start easing into the school routine without making it feel like school has already started. And I know that's something that we've done over here at the Tenseth household is that, you know, whether a student is five or 15, that transition can be really hard when we're going back to school because you've had lots of late nights and family vacations or. just different routines and so i think that as we're starting to think about school starting families can gradually start to move bedtime and wake up times closer to the school schedule you know, to practice getting ready in the morning. I think especially for those young kids, like how do you put on your jacket? How do you put on your shoes independently? And to make sure that students have what they need. So the first day of school doesn't feel so rushed or overwhelming. But I think just as importantly, Craig, is to talk about school with excitement rather than anxiety, right? Like we have kids that feel all sorts of feeling. But as parents, we can be that safe place to try and make it an exciting thing as we talk about back to school and ask them, like, what are you looking forward to? Talk about seeing their friends. meeting the new teacher, learning something new, playing a sport, or just simply having a fresh start. I think that that time to connect is really important as we try to get our students back into the routine of going back to school. Brandi, this question is something I think I may have failed at as a parent. When I was taking my kids to the school for the first day every year, the conversation was the same and I remember it like it was yesterday. School right now is the most important thing you're doing. It's not football. It's not soccer. It's not, what are you doing this weekend? It's school today, and we expect you to do well. We were putting the heat on our kids, even when they were in elementary school, Frannie. And the question is, how can you build excitement without unintentionally adding pressure and did I mess it up there? I don't think you messed it up, Craig, and I think that's something that we all continue to do, right? Because we know how important school is. And I sometimes tell my kids, like, I have my teacher hat where I probably do things a lot better and then I have my own mom hat where, like, I probably don't follow my advice. And I think that that's easy to do as a parent because we just care so much about these kids. But I think one of the best ways that we can try to really build that excitement without adding all that pressure is to talk about school and keep it joyful and low pressure. And so what I mean about that is really talk about like those new experiences that they're going to have.

the people that they're going to meet, the things that they're going to get to discover, not everything that they're going to be able to know or do and not have that added pressure. And I think it's okay to remind them that it's okay to feel a little nervous. You know, even as adults, we feel nervous about something for the first time and a new school or going to kindergarten for the first time or even just going back to school can feel like a big step for students. And so just being that that place, that safe place for them to share those feelings. And I think as kids too, being to let them see our excitement and our confidence in them is really important. I think that just giving them the verbiage of like, I believe that you can do this and I'm going to be here for you when you come home to talk and to celebrate you can really mean everything for kids. When a parent gets ready to take their child to school and all of the sudden the emotions just you out for us it was in second grade franny with our daughter not kindergarten not first grade in second grade the tears and oh my goodness i don't want to go and what's your advice well crag i think even as parents i can i can say that for myself that has happened i remember last year dropping little hattie luwa for the first time for preschool and i had to turn away and like wipe my own tears before i put on my brave smile for her so as parents like those feelings can come too but i think the first thing that i would want to tell those parents is you're not alone and neither is your child. I have my own children right now who are having some of those same back to school feelings. And I know that this isn't something just I talk about as an educator. Like I've lived it as a parent too. So I think the first thing that I want to talk to these parents about is to let them know that it doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong. Sometimes those big transitions can bring really big feelings. And so as parents, we can listen, reassure, and then just giving them that safe space to talk about what they're worried about without immediate. and I think as a parent that's such a hard spot to be because we want to make things feel good for our kids. But sometimes living in that gray and not jumping in to fix it right away is really important. So I think one of the things I try to do with my own children is to let them like know that I hear them and that it makes sense that they're nervous or that they're frightened or that they're scared or that they're sad. And then just giving them that safe place that then also letting them know like, but I believe you can do it. and hyping them up a little bit. And then I think lean on the school, right? Talk to the teacher, let them know what your child is experiencing because we really want to be partners with families and sometimes a little extra connection or a familiar face that the door can make an enormous difference. So if your child is having a day of this and you go to two days and it's still happening, maybe there's a safe person at the school. Like Craig, I'm wondering like you're the first grade teacher, is that somebody that could have been at the door to help your child know like, hey, I'm still here and I'm excited that you're here. And sometimes that familiar face can really help. allow a child to take a deep breath and realize that things are going to be okay. And then as parents, gosh, we have to give ourselves grace, Craig, because we don't have the perfect answer to everything. And we just need to be that safe, steady person reminding our child that they are loved, that they are capable, and that they don't have to navigate those hard parts alone. Brenna, you talked a little bit about having a child who is confident and curious. So as parents then... Take me back to when we're at home, how can I make activities not feel like lessons, but encourage curiosity, encourage confidence building? You know, honestly, Craig, I think some of the best learning happens in the most ordinary moments.

talking to your child, reading a book together, cooking with them and letting them be the person that's measuring, going shopping and talking about money or numbers or choices and how to make good choices, playing outside and noticing the world around us or asking questions and then letting them ask questions and routine. I think you don't need to turn everyday life into a lesson. You just need to be curious together. And I think the power of curiosity is so important for students. I think it really helps too with mistakes and resiliency when we go into life with a curious mindset. I also think that those conversations when we're just simply having talking time with our kids can build vocabulary. reasoning, problem solving, and connection. And I think they're a really good reminder for our students, too, that learning doesn't always happen when you're sitting at a desk. There are life lessons and learning all around us. So really, we need to let students wonder. We need to let them play. We need to let them be a part of the world that's all around them. I want to ask you about reading briefly, Brandy. I think many parents made reading a priority in summer. Perhaps it was in the afternoon. Perhaps it was to get through the book challenge at the library. But now school started. We also have other subjects. We've got activities and stuff. How important is it to continue to read? And I struggled with this one. I enjoyed reading to my kids. And I remember clearly the day that my daughter said, hey, dad, I got this. I can read on my own. But I want to keep reading to you. It's like, all right, go for it. Read independently. That's great. But how important is it to continue to read even if it's not about what you're studying at school? Well, you know, I've done a lot of reading and research about this, Craig, because it's something that I really care about. And I have learned that reading aloud continues to matter a lot. Even after a child can read independently, there is a place for adults to read to children. And there's also tremendous value in children reading aloud to themselves. You know, when children read out loud, they get to practice fluency, expression, phrasing, and then just building that confidence. They begin to hear what their own reading sounds like, which could and help them notice when something doesn't quite make sense. And it also gives adults a wonderful opportunity to listen, not to necessarily correct every mistake, but to notice where a child is growing and where they might need some additional support. I would encourage families not to make reading allowed feel like a performance, but let children read a favorite book or a silly book or a comic or a recipe or directions for a game, whatever makes their heart smile. And the goal is to build skill and confidence while keeping that joy alive. And at the same time, keep reading to them. And Craig, like there might come a time where they want to push back on that. But I think a child becoming an independent reader doesn't mean they've outgrown being read too. We want children to become capable readers, but we also want them to become people who love reading. And I think those are two gifts that we can nurture together. And even as a middle school teacher, last year, I pulled out, I had a few extra minutes. And Craig, I pulled out a book and it was a picture book I had from when I was a kindergarten teacher. And I told my sixth graders come to the carpet. I'm going to read to. And the way that they got excited, Craig, was living proof of that students still want to be read to.

Right? I just think that there's something so coming together of these kids coming to the carpet and being able to read them a story. And I have a fifth grader now. And I hope that she, she always likes when mom reads a bedtime story and we can interact together. Maybe it's taking turns, right? Maybe there's a let's read this together. You read a page. I read a page. But I think there's just something so symbolic about being able to come together and read a nightly story together. Yeah, I liked it because the book's got more interesting. There was a little more back and forth we could have than whether the tractor is green, you know, there was so much more as she got older and as our boys got older too that we could then talk about the stories and yeah just those conversations and i think you can you can use those to krag for like life skills right for empathy building for asking like what would you have done differently if this if you would have been the main character you know just those conversations and that that the time to connect is such a gift with our children. And I think that's what I love most about being able to read together, is that gift of time and connection. And I used it to really introduce nonfiction, right? As our kids got older, to learn more about real things and real people rather than just reading fiction all the time. Franie, I want to ask you about kids who go to school. And they always finish first because they're good at stuff. Well, what about the student who doesn't finish first? And then what should adults, what should parents do to help children avoid comparing themselves to their classmates all the time one way or the other? Yeah. Well, you know, Craig, I think this is something that's incredibly close to my heart because as an interventionist, I see firsthand how easily students can begin to define themselves by comparison. I work with students who may need a little more time or practice or even just a different way of learning. And I never want a child to believe that needing support means that they aren't smart. And I think it's really important that we have conversations with our students and with our kids about learning not being a race and that every child deserves the time and space to. grow and it might look differently. So I really encourage adults to celebrate progress rather than speed. So like look at how much you've grown instead of look at how fast you've finished. I think that every child that comes into our school has strengths and every child has things that are maybe a little bit harder for them. And our job is to help them recognize their own growth and to celebrate somebody else's without feeling diminished by ours. I think that is really important too to be able to celebrate other people's growth and not feel like it's a reflection of our own. And then to understand that needing help is not a weakness, I think there's so much beauty in watching a child realize I couldn't do this before, but I could do it now. It's so important in life too. We've talked about it already this week and other segments that we've had. It's okay to ask for help. Oh my goodness, Craig, and I think that as adults being able to model, that's really important too. Because when students can see that adults that they trust and respect and love are able to ask for help, I think it gives them permission too to realize that this is an okay thing to do. And Craig, I need a lot of help in life, right? And I think that that's just a really important thing to be able to show our students and our children that even adults need help sometimes. When the child brings home the spelling list, and we didn't get an A.

Yeah, a B minus or however teachers grade these days. It depends on the school. Yeah. Something like that. I think people understand what I'm talking about. How do you help a child understand that, you know what, mistakes are okay, they're normal, and they're valuable. I think it just comes apart, Craig, of like the culture, right? Like it needs to be something that has talked about, lived, and breathed about it. And I know I have my own, Craig, like you're a parent, right? And it's like you have your own children and each of your own children have strengths. I have my own children. Some are very good spellers and some are very bad spellers. And so it's a conversation we have a lot at our house of we celebrate other people's successes and we don't feel intimidated by it. And we realize that sometimes. we have things that we're better at than they are. And so when we have children that come home and they maybe didn't get 100% on the spelling test, we celebrate the ones that they did get right. Right? Like and like I like Craig, I'm be very vulnerable. Like I have a student. I have my own child who got one out of 10 right one week and he came home and he was so down and I said, buddy, but you got one. Right. Like we got one and next week we're going to try really hard to get two. Right. And so I think not only is it celebrating, but it's coming together and thinking of like how can we make measurable goals for them that that is a realistic goal for them to accomplish? Right. If I would have went to my son and told them next week we're going to get 10 out of 10 that probably isn't going to happen. And that's okay. But golly, we can work really hard to try to get two rights. And I think it's just realizing that that those little incremental steps of growth are really important to set measurable goals and to celebrate all the way. And then just to know that, hey, we're going to, like mom is here for you to work with you and to help you support you every single step of the way. We always enjoy our conversations with Franny Tonseth, North Dakota's Teacher of the Year. We're talking about how to prepare from both the parents' perspective and the kidnows perspective to be good learners in this upcoming school year, how to be ready for school. Franny, we've talked about student, teacher, parent-teacher relationships. Let's talk about the parent side of that first. What is a strong parent-teacher relationship? You know, to me, a strong relationship between a parent and teacher also needs to involve the student, but it's really a partnership. Everyone is on TeamKid. And so we may all have each different roles, but we want the same thing. We want a child to feel safe, supported, capable, and truly successful in whatever metrics that looks like. And so to me, it means communicating openly, being able to listen to one another, celebrating that growth and being willing to have honest conversations when something's not working. Families know their child. child in ways that teachers don't. And also, teachers see parts of a child that families might not always get to see. So when we bring each of those perspectives together, instead of working in separate corners, I think the child is surrounded by people who are cheering them on and can really help to figure out how to get them to be successful. And I think, too, it's really important to know it doesn't always have to be perfect, right? It just has to be rooted in trust, respect, and a shared belief that we're all on the same team.

What information about a child is genuinely helpful for a teacher to receive right at the start of the school year? And, Frannie, I want to extend that question just a little bit. Sometimes it wasn't until that first parent teacher conference that we really got to sit down with teachers and interact with them. But maybe there was some information that would have been better shared right up front. What's your advice? You know, honestly, Craig, if a parent feels like there is something I should know about their child as a teacher, I want to know it. no matter how big or how small it is, I think that parents know their child better than anyone else. And that information can be incredibly helpful in helping a teacher build the right relationship from the very beginning. Maybe their child is anxious about new situations or has had a difficult experience at school. It could be something like maybe they're incredibly passionate about something, need extra time to warm up, or has a strength that doesn't always show up in the classroom. I think none of that information is too much information. or not significant information, it gives us a window into the child. And as a teacher, I would much rather a parent share something they think might be important than wonder whether they should have said something like you said until parent-teacher conferences. You know, and I just talked about how we're partners, and that's true. And that information helps me understand the whole child, not just the child who walks through my classroom door. But parents have incredibly useful information. So I would say, gosh, if there is a piece of information that you think could be helpful, share it. Concerns pop up. They always do. How should a parent approach the teacher? And how should the teacher approach the parent so that the conversation begins as a partnership rather than a confrontation? I think the most important thing, Craig, is to assume good intentions on both sides. As a parent, you're coming into that conversation because they love their child and they want what's best for them. And a teacher is there because we care deeply about that child and we want them to succeed and we want to help give them the support needed to succeed. And so we might not always see a situation the same way, but we can all begin with the belief that everyone is trying to do the right thing. I think that I would encourage parents to come in with curiosity. Can you help me understand what you're saying? or my child shared this with me and I'd really love to hear your perspective. And I think that that opens the conversation rather than putting someone on the defense. And as a teacher, I need to do the same thing. I need to listen to be open and to remember that the parent is sharing what they know and what they're experiencing at home. And sometimes, Craig, we get it wrong. right as teachers as parents sometimes we get it wrong and sometimes we're going to misunderstand each other but but that's okay i think if we can start from a place to trust and assume the good intentions and then keep coming back to the fact that we're all on team kid we can work through almost anything together when that child comes home and has one version of the incident franny and the teacher has a different understanding of it Then how should the parent respond to get again that team kid at most in front and center? Well, Craig, I think the first thing is to pause and remember that your child is telling you their experience and that experience matters.

And children don't always have the full picture of a situation, just like adults don't always have the full picture. And so as a parent, this has happened, right? I mean, these are things that we've all lived and breathed together. And so I always listen and reassure my child and then reach out to the teacher again with that curiosity rather than assuming somebody did something wrong. So something as simple as this is what my child shared with me. I know there's probably more to the story. Can you help me understand what happened? Can completely change the tone of a conversation? then coming in and saying you did something wrong right like I think that it What we say matters, but also how we say it can matter in a situation and from both sides. And I think that this is where that idea of assuming good intentions becomes so important because we don't need to decide who is right before we've heard one another. The teacher may have some information that the child didn't see or the child may have feelings or context that the teacher didn't know about. So our job as adults is to try and put those pieces together as a shared partnership. And I don't think we have to dismiss what our child told. us to trust the teacher and we don't have to distrust the teacher to advocate for a child. I don't think it's an either or because we can really do both. We can listen to our child. We can listen to the teacher and we can try all then work together to understand what happened and how to help the child next. We have a lot more to discuss with North Dakota's teacher of the year for Annie Tunceth. We're talking about getting ourselves and our kids ready for school. It all follows this news.

This is Main Street from Prairie Public. I'm Craig Blumenstein, pleased to be extending our conversation with Franny Tuncett. She teaches in the Mayport C.G School District, and she's North Dakota's teacher of the year. We're talking about getting kiddos and ourselves as parents ready for school. Branny, as we continue on with our discussion, I would like to talk about parent-teacher conferences. What questions should parents ask conferences to learn more than simply whether their child's getting good grades? I want to see the A and then move on to the next class. Well, I personally believe that conferences are a wonderful opportunity to learn about the whole child, not just the report card. I would encourage parents to ask questions like, what are my child's strengths, or what makes them really excited in school, or what seems to be challenging them right now. I had a parent come in, Craig, once, and ask, if this were your child, what would you want to know? And I loved that question so much, because ever since I heard it, I thought, gosh, that really gives the teacher to permission to share things that might not show up on a grade. Because grades are one piece of information, but they don't tell us whether a child student feels confident or connected or whether they're kind or willing to help persevere when something is really hard. And I think that those are things that really help us understand how a child is doing much more than what the grade says in the grade book. We've all heard that parents need to be involved in their kiddos education. It sounds so easy. But how can parents remain involved in school but still allow their child to develop independence and learn to advocate for themselves and maybe even... make a mistake or two along the way. Gosh, that's so important, isn't it, Craig? I think so, yep. Gosh, you know, I think it's such an important balance because being involved doesn't mean we're necessarily doing things for our kids. So you can be their biggest supporters and their biggest cheerleaders while still giving them the opportunities to speak. or to problem solve or to advocate for themselves. If a child has a question about an assignment, for example, instead of immediately emailing or calling the teacher, we could say, what do you think you could ask your teacher? And then help them practice what they want to say. And we can be right next to them without always having to be the person that steps in. And I think of it as like we can be their safety net, but not their safety cage. So we want children to know that we're there whenever they need us. But we also want them to experience that confidence. it comes from figuring something out on their own. And as teachers, we have a role in that too. We can create opportunities for students to use their voice and to take ownership. Our goal isn't to make ourselves unnecessary. It's to help children become capable of advocating for themselves, well, knowing that they really actually don't have to do it alone because we'll always be there to celebrate or help walk through the hard things later. One time we always want to be necessary is when our...

kiddo walks through the door they're home from school and we ask the question how is school and they say good and then they're there on to something else so what questions are more likely franny to start meaningful conversations when our kids come back home from school not only on day one but throughout the year you know Craig i'm going to have to send you a link i don't know if you can link it into this on the website but i used to give parents at parent-teacher conferences 50 questions you can ask your kid instead of how was school to get a more genuine reaction. But I personally really love the open-ended questions because they invite children to tell a story instead of giving us one-word answers. So some of the examples that I use with my own children are I'll say, how did you make someone smile today? And then they have to give me an example. Or tell me a moment of when you had to show grit today at school. You might ask something of what made you curious today? Or what was something that kind of surprised you that happened in your day? Or who did you enjoy spending time with? I think that sometimes the best conversations don't necessarily happen to when we set our children down on the couch and stand over them and say, tell me about your day. Sometimes they happen when you're like making dinner together or driving in the car or maybe you're walking the dog or even getting ready for bed. I think that we don't always need to ask the perfect question too. We just need to create space for our children to talk and to really listen and pause when they are ready to start to talk about whatever they want to say. May not be the best time to do it right when they come through the door. Could be a little bit later in the evening. You know what, Craig? I certainly don't have the best answer for that because I think what I've really noticed about my four own children is each one of them want to talk during a completely different time of the day. Right? And so what works for one child might not work for another. And that's okay. Some children may want to talk the minute they got out of the car because they're so excited. And others might need time to like decompress. after trying to have it together during the entire school day. So I think what I've noticed is I really need to pay attention to my child's rhythm and kind of pick up on their cues of when they're ready to talk. Because if we also ask the questions when they're not ready, we're not going to get the good responses that we want. So maybe it is that drive home or over dinner or maybe you're making lunches the next morning and getting ready for school. But I think. One of the most important things that we do, Craig, is that we don't force the conversation, but we create opportunities for it, right? Just creating that safe space because sometimes those little conversations are the ones that really open up the door for the bigger ones to happen. I think one other important point that I'll throw in here, even though you're the expert, Franie, is ask the questions when you have time to listen. Gosh, yes. And discuss whatever it is that you want to talk about, not when you're rushed, just like the little might be every now and then. Absolutely, not when we were expecting a phone call, right? Or when we have to get to the sports practice or our lives are so full. But I think it's really important, like you said, Craig, to make sure that we are creating intentional time in our day to make those connections and then make sure we're able to pause and listen to them when they're ready to talk. So kids are going to talk about maybe what happened in school, their academic side. They're also going to talk about their classmates. What happened at recess? What happened at lunch?

not just academic. So what should parents really listen for when those discussions surface? Well, I think these everyday parts of school can tell us so much about how a child is doing, not just academically, but socially and emotionally too. I like to listen to who they enjoy spending time with, whether they feel included, whether they're excited to see certain friends or whether there are friendships or situations that seem to be causing them some anxiety or some worry, because even little comments about recess or lunch can give us clues into belonging, confidence, and how a child is navigating relationships. And I think, too, Craig, an important thing to add is I wouldn't listen, not just for what they say, but for changes and how they're talking about school. avoiding talking about certain friends? Do they seem unusually quiet? Are they constantly talking about being left out or not knowing where they fit? Because I think those things are worth exploring and partnering with the school to try and get more information about. What does that partnering look like, Franie, at that moment? Yeah. You know, I think, Craig, we talked a couple of questions ago, right, about allowing kids opportunity to kind of have some of that productive struggle and be their own advocate. I think that at the same time, right, not every difficult friendship moment is a problem. that adults need to immediately solve children are learning how to navigate disagreements include others apologize repair relationships and sometimes it's our job just to simply listen to ask a few questions and then to help them think through it how could you respond what are some tactics we can try do you want to practice it rather than us immediately stepping in however i think that being able to just communicate to call the teacher to stop into the school to send them an email and to say this is what i'm noticing at home can you give me more information what you're seeing in the classroom is absolutely an inappropriate step to just clue the teacher in on because sometimes like I'm not outside at recess I don't necessarily see everything that's happening and those are things that I would want to know are happening so I can watch for classroom dynamics to within my own classroom I want to talk to you about homework a couple different questions about homework okay first one is it takes longer than expected and all of the sudden my child is just crying They're just stressed. They just, they can't get it for Annie. What should I watch for when my kids doing homework and is struggling with the homework? Well, Craig, I've been there with my own children. And as a parent, it's absolutely heartbreaking. When a homework regularly ends in tears or frustration or a child sitting at the table for hours, I think that we have to pause and ask what the behavior is communicating with us. It could be that the work is too difficult. It could be that the child needs a different kind of support. It could be that they're simply exhausted after a long day. school it could be that it's a skill that they haven't mastered yet it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't trying but i think the most important thing there is that we turn it we don't turn it into a battle at home Right? As teachers, we do not want parents to be battling homework at home. So reach out to the teacher and say, this is what homework is looking like at our house. Can you help me understand what may be going on? And I think that information is incredibly valuable to teachers because homework should really be an opportunity to practice learning that's already happened, not something that's constantly damaging a child's confidence or the relationship between a child and a parent. So if tears are becoming part of the routine, it's a signal that the adults need to come together and figure out a better path forward.

you need to reach out to the teacher. Okay, I see my child's homework. Yep. Franny, I see a mistake. Yeah. But the kiddo did it? Should I correct it or should I let him send it in? You know what, Craig? I think there's a couple different ways to look at this. And I don't think one is right or wrong. I think that it is actually incredibly helpful for a teacher to see the homework as the child did it. If a parent corrects every single mistake before sending it back, as teachers, we really lose the valuable information about whether the child understands. and whether they need support. I think that parents can encourage, can ask questions, can help their child think through something. And sometimes that's more helpful than we even see. But I think that letting the teacher see the authentic work, even the mistakes, is important. Those mistakes are information and nothing to be embarrassed about. I also, Craig, like as a teacher, I will sit down with my child and try to reteach it to them. Right? And maybe that's just the teacher in me that really wants to help. But I think just if you continue to see the mistakes, reaching out to the teacher and letting them know that there's some kind of error that's happening is an appropriate thing. I think the thing that I'm getting at Craig is I listen to all of my answers and as I'm reflecting back is like, gosh, dang it. That communication with a teacher and a parent is so important to really help support the child, whether it's homework, behavior, feelings, social, emotional help, friendship, like just having that clear partnership and being able to to communicate on both ends is incredibly important. During summer, a lot of families had time for their little ones to have unstructured time, to go play. Imagine or just maybe even just rest. Now that we have school, we've got homework, we've got activities, still have family responsibilities. What do you tell families about allowing their kids to still have unstructured time during the year when our calendars, all of the sudden just get packed? I think instructor time is incredibly important, Craig, and letting kids be kids. I think we're trying to think of like routines. We need to make sure that we find a rhythm that works for you and allows for the flexibility to students to be able to play. The amount of learning that students can have and that incredible imagination that occurs when kids are just out playing together is so great. And we need to make sure that we make time for that. I think that there is some help in consistency, making sure that our days have consistency and making sure that there's a general time and a comfortable place to work on homework, that we understand like what comes next. All of those things with a routine can be really incredibly helpful for students. And yet I think it's a balance of making sure we still allow time for them to be kids. Okay. we're going to be a kid and that means we're going to have a phone around franny now we have to talk about cell phones and screen time what's what's your advice to parents who battle that they want their kids to have some downtime some some playtime etc but all of a sudden their nose is in their phone

We've all experienced it. We have experienced it, Craig. You know, I think, Craig, I'm not an expert on technology and phones. And as a parent, this is something my husband and I are still trying to figure out with our oldest. Like at what point are they ready to have a phone? And I think that probably the most honest place to start is that there isn't going to be a magic age when. every child is suddenly ready for a phone. And I think families have to consider why their child needs one first and how they can handle it responsibly and whether they can create to manage the boundaries and whether they're ready for social media and just there's so many questions. And one of those questions like you said is how do we manage it at home and how much time should there be? And I think for me as a parent, I want my child to still have opportunities to practice the social skills of being able to put down a phone and look at an adult or look at another child and have a face-to-face conversation and that's really important. And yet I know. that other parents might have different opinions, and that's okay. I think that there are a lot of conversations that still need to be had around phone usage and AI and just the cell phone ban in schools. And there's so many important conversations, Craig, that need to happen. And I am right along there wanting to learn with everybody else. I was somewhat stunned, Franie. You graciously welcomed me into your classroom last spring. And I asked one of your students, what about this North Dakota cell phone band? Has it decreased the amount of time that you spend on your phone? His answer was, nope, nope, because I go home and I have my phone and, you know, if I didn't have a half hour on at school, it's just going to be made up for later on in the day. So in other words, it really hadn't changed overall behavior much. Is that a message you would like to get out there that you know what? It's not just school time that we need to be concerned about phone use. I think so you know, Craig, I read the book, The Anxious Generation. Have you read that book yet, Craig? I have not. Okay. It should be on your to-do list. You know, it was incredibly enlightening and just, gosh. You know, I continue to like resonate with it and to really just try and think about it. Because like you said, our kids are spending a lot of different time on technology. And I think that it's a conversation that needs to be held on a national level in terms of are our students healthier? Are they healthier than they were previously before cell phones? And I'm not quite sure if that's the case, Craig. Brandy, one thing I think that that's important. Yes, I am glad that we grew up in the era before cell phones when we were raising our kids for sure. We had internet chat at the time that we had to kind of.

put some parameters around, but it's certainly different today. But one of the things I've observed is, you know what, kids mimic what their parents are doing on a lot of levels. And one of those levels is how they use their cell phone when the kids are in their home. Well, if mom's on the cell phone and dad's on the cell phone, guess I ought to be on a cell phone too. Yeah, no, I think that's incredibly correct, Craig. And I think that we have to model it as adults. It's hard to tell our children to put their phones down when we're eating dinner when parents are on phones too, right? So I think that these boundaries aren't necessarily too about being anti-technology. They're about making sure technology doesn't take over the moments that matter most. Those moments we can really connect with our children in real time. You know, like I said, I don't have everything figured out, right? Just last week, I was answering emails for the teacher of the year roll. And I know I was on for an hour straight answering on my phone because I didn't have my computer by. And my five year old came up and she goes, Mom, can you please put your phone down? I've been trying to talk to you. And I was so locked in. I didn't even hear her. And it was a really reflective point for me to kind of like a gut punch of like, holy smokes. Like yeah, I didn't model that very correctly. Right. And so I think as adults, we need to be really conscious and intentional about our own phone usage and really think about, you know, how we spend our time is showing what we think is valuable and just kind of doing our own, you know. almost survey of how do we want to be spending our time and how do we want to communicate to our kids what's valuable. Pranning we talked earlier about maybe how to help a little when they're struggling how to teach your parent communication that teacher family communication is so important. What about the opposite when the kids come home and say I nailed that. I'm bored at school. I'm not challenged enough. They're doing stuff that I learned last year. How should we interact with teachers then at that point? You know, Craig, I think that's really an important thing because I've heard all of those things from parents, right? Maybe a kid is bored or maybe a kid is bad at math or maybe a kid hates a certain class, right? And I think it's really important that we're actually listening to the words underneath. and the reasons why we're saying those because sometimes like the i hate reading really means reading is hard for me and i don't want anyone to know um maybe the i'm bad at math means i've tried i couldn't do it and now i'm feeling defeated maybe the board really isn't i'm bored but hey i'm not feeling stimulated every three seconds like i am on ticot because i'm not able to scroll and my teacher isn't as engaging right um so i think sometimes it's more helpful to get curious tell me what happens when math makes you feel hard. Tell me what part of reading you don't enjoy. Tell me what your teacher and your friends are doing when you're feeling bored because maybe they're struggling with a skill or they're feeling overwhelmed or they're bored because they aren't being challenged or they're having a social or emotional experience at school that's making everything else feel harder. So I think number one, we don't have to solve it right in that moment. We just need to listen closely enough to try and figure out what the statement is actually telling us. And then when needed, we need to bring the teacher into that conversation because our children

don't always have the words to explain what they're experiencing. So sometimes we have to listen for the message underneath the words and then collaborate and try to figure out how we can help make them feel more successful. Brandy, for now, I'm going to end our conversation for today, but I'm going to have you back next Monday to continue the process of getting our kids ready for school. It's already fall time. Franie Tuntha, she's North Dakota's teacher of the year. She joins us periodically here on Main Street to talk about all things. education in North Dakota. Thanks for joining us again, Franie. Thank you, Craig. The Red Clay Stray's Grateful Tour with special guest Dylan Gossett and Sweet Talk is coming to the Alara Center in Grand Forks Tuesday, August 18th, and the Bismarck Event Center, Wednesday, August 19th. Information at Ticketmaster.com. Hi, I'm Danielle Webster, and I'm from a small town in North Dakota, so community is pretty important to me. And so is knowing the scoop. Like about Phyllis's sauerkraut dinner coming up on Saturday in the church basement, or the local theater group's production this summer. That kind of thing. If you want to know what's going on or you want to let people know what's happening in your neck of the woods, go to our community calendar at prairiepublic.org. You can learn all about exciting events across the region and get our listening audience-wise to your organization's events. Just go to prairiepublic.org slash community.

If you're listening to the 3 p.m. broadcast of Main Street catch up on the news and stories from around the world, the nation, and here at home on all things considered. That's up next on Prairie Public. And if you're listening to us during the evening broadcast, keep it here for Kelly Corrigan Wonders. That follows Main Street on Prairie Public. This is Birdnote. Many people take an interest in birds as they get older, but others start very early, like this young Birdnote listener, Ben Bradman. Hi, my name is Ben. I am eight years old, and I like to watch birds. I like watching your behavior, and I think their sounds are relaxing. I'm trying to learn to identify their calls. I have a favorite bird, tufted tint mouse. I think they're cute. We have a lot of woodpeckers. Red-bellied, mostly red-bellied. They really like one of our white pines. And Ben is deepening his knowledge of birds by sketching them. I've been trying to draw birds in nature in a notebook. We look at the birds a lot, so it makes you learn more. I drew the red-bellied woodpecker on a tree. It's standing on a tree, and it's about to peck. I think it's fun drawing the habitats, too. Find out more about how you can start learning your local birds on our website, birdnote. I'm Joni's Franklin. This is Dakota Datebook for August 11th. Prunis Virginana, commonly known as choke cherry, is a remarkably adaptable plant that thrives in diverse growing conditions and climates. it's a member of the rose family blooming with clusters of white flowers in the spring followed by dark red cherries the plant is extremely hardy able to survive both harsh winters and drought the choke cherry typically grows as a large shrub but can reach heights of thirty to fifty feet it forms thickets that provide shelter and food for more than forty species of birds as well as numerous mammals it's been called one of the most ecologically valuable native trees for wildlife support it also has a long history of benefiting humans it was the main ingredient in pemmican an important food source for plains indians and early european fur traders the choke cherry has long been a staple of north dakota life in nineteen twenty five the grand forks harold noted that choke cherry season was under way and there may be quite a few family pantry shelves stocked with choke cherry wine

The crop was plentiful that year, and on Sundays, the roads through choke cherry country were lined with cars of people harvesting the berries, would-be jelly and winemakers eager to gather their share of the bounty. In 2007, sixth graders in Nancy Selby's class at Rickard Elementary School successfully petitioned the North Dakota legislature to name the choke cherry the official state fruit. Their efforts led to the passage of Senate Bill 2145, sponsored by Senators Stanley Leeson and Nick Hacker, and signed into law by Governor John Hoven on March 29, 2007. Williston held the first North Dakota Choke Cherry Festival that summer, and it has been a cherished tradition ever since. Every year at this time, the festival features music, a pancake breakfast, games, vendors, rides on the Choke Cherry Express mini train, ice cream with Choke Cherry syrup, and a car show. The Choke Cherry Festival is over for this year, but it will return in 2027. Back in 1925, a North Dakota farmer observed that choke juries are worth celebrating. They stay green. All through the years that you have held onto your home, they have stayed with you. They also have faith in our state. Today's Dakota date book was written by Dr. Carol Butcher. I'm Merrill Pepcorn.

Dakota Datebook is produced in cooperation with the State Historical Society of North Dakota, with funding by the Study ND, North Dakota's largest lifelong learning community. Arts Programming on Prairie Public is supported in part by the North Dakota Council on the Arts, a state agency developing, promoting, and supporting the arts in North Dakota. Democrats are calling for a congressional briefing into President Trump's apparent use of a decoy aircraft to foil an Iranian assassination plot. The administration didn't disclose that the president was not traveling on Air Force One with members of the press and his staff. So what does this say about the White House's transparency? That's on the next morning edition from NPR News. Starting at 4 a.m. Central right here on Prairie Public. Listen to Asian View from NHK World Japan Radio every weekday on the station to hear international news, interviews, and deep analysis of what's making headlines with a spotlight on what's happening in Japan and elsewhere in Asia. From the latest stories coming out of China, North Korea, and Myanmar, tune in to Asian View from NHK World Japan Radio and stay up to date with a region that's playing an increasingly important role. Listen to Asian View weekday afternoons at 544 Central on Prairie Public. Once upon a swamp, a story begins. Sleepy Hello Theater and Arts Park in Bismarck presents Shrek the Musical, Outdoors July 23rd through August 1st at 8 p.m. featuring Shrek, Donkey, Princess Fiona, and a cast of familiar fairy tale characters. Ticket information is available at shtap.org. And that's a wrap for this Tuesday's Main Street. We are deeply grateful that you've spent time with us. Tomorrow on the show, we're not talking just about school starting, but a graduation, a college graduate 76 years old. We'll bring you the story of a North Dakota farmer who's wanted to finish his degree for years, but his college time was cut short by a family tragedy when he was younger. Now he's a UND graduate. That's ahead tomorrow on Main Street, and we look forward to your joining us again.