Fighter Jet Rescue, Fart Talk & Boner Chocolate

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A task force led by Vice President JD Vance has led to the suspension of 21 L.A. hospice and health care providers. Administration's war on fraud, a spokesperson told Fox News Digital says that more results are on the way. They are expecting that the suspensions will dramatically increase. The arrest include two individuals, rather, behind a $7 million fraud operation. You heard this going on in Minnesota. Tim Walz was the bullseye fodder there for President Trump. And at the time, Trump said California is even worse. And it is under the federal purview when it comes to Medicare. Gavin Newsom has... consistently said that the federal government is at fault for not appropriately handling and addressing things that are going on in California, whereas Trump is saying, hey, Gavin Newsom is not doing his job. It's a finger-pointing scheme. It really does come down to the purview, though, of the federal government when it comes to Medicare. So it's a good thing that they are catching it and they are on it now. Vanessa Trump is now speaking after the arrest of her boyfriend Tiger Woods. For the first time that I heard about this, I thought that can't be right. Now, there's too many weird names that are associated with each other. But Vanessa Trump, of course, the former wife of Eric Trump. My favorite part of the... Tigerwood's story so far, well, the memes are going to be great. If you haven't seen the memes of him, the body camera footage that exists from the car with him with a white sheet over his head. There's a lot of ET memes circulating that are pretty good. But my favorite part is that he told the responding officer right after the crash that he was just on the phone with the president. Do you know who I am? Do you know who I know? The president says it's cool. What a move. What a move. I had forgotten he was dating Vanessa Trump when I heard that story. I mean, it made a little bit more sense. Hold on a second, officer. I got to call my current girlfriend's ex-husband's dad. Yeah. By the way, she shared a couple, a picture of the couple together in happier times. captioning the image with two red hearts in the words. Love you. United has raised the prices for checked bags because of the higher fuel costs. United is raising first and second check bag fees by $10 for customers. You ever have this happen where you sleep through your alarm? That's a big fear of mine. Yesterday I did that. Did you, but you made it. I did another alarm. I did. You didn't miss the show. I often will wake up in like a stupor of sweat and think. Am I supposed to be on TV right now? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Kansas City Royals rookie catcher Carter Jensen had the same exact issue. Now he's been pulled from the lineup after sleeping through his alarm. I used to feel this way all the time in morning radio when I was young because it was like, well, if you don't show up, then they'll just fire you. They're not, they don't need a big reason to fire you when you're starting off in radio or television. There's a lot of people banging down the door to be the next person. So you sleep in, you're done.

Carter have an oversight. The manager said, overslept, wasn't here on time. And we made the decision to scratch him for the lineup. But he does feel terrible and he's a great kid. He's accountable to it. He'll admit to being wrong and we'll move on. YouTube's going to live stream Coachella for free. So you can enjoy it on your own terms. Couchella is what they call this. Ah, I love that. That's good. We are going to be in Menefi next weekend. That is right. We will be at the BJ's in Menifee, like I've told you. If we are in Menifee, you are in Menifee. Come join us. We are going to have a blast. By the way, if you haven't heard about PJ's Pizuki meal deal, listen to this. This is unheard of in the year of Our Lord 2026. $13 will get you a full entree and a Pizuki. If you don't know about the Pizuki, You're nuts. It is a warm, gooey, cookie, topped with the best ice cream, vanilla ice cream for dessert. $13 for an entree and a bazuki. That doesn't happen. Join us at Menifee's. We will be there for our news and brews next Friday, a week from today, April 10th. Join us. You know what I like about BJs, other than everything? Is the fact that when they do April Fool's Pranks, they mean it. Yeah, the pepperoni. They did the pepperoni ice cream with the hot honey. They actually served that to people. It actually sounds pretty good. I'm sure it's delicious. I usually wouldn't put meat on my dessert, but in this case, I'd make an exception. Yeah, not a good Friday. Because it's the baby pepperoni. Right. You know what I mean? Right. Not on good Friday. It's a good Catholic. What am I supposed to eat fish, right? Yeah. Every Friday, really. Isn't that? During Lent. Oh, just during Lent? Yeah. Is that the whole year round? No. Ah. Well, anyway. It's a pretty low, like. sacrifice, I think. Yeah. One day a week. What did you give up for Lent? I don't, I wasn't drinking during the week, which was really hard. That's not how Jesus works. If you're going to give it up, you got to do it. You got to do the whole thing? I got to go back. You didn't learn that? You didn't learn that? No, they were like very chill about it. And they said, don't make it punitive. Just do it in a fun way. It was pretty punitive for Jesus on that cross. Well, that's, yeah, but I'm, you know what I mean? But I'm not trying to, I'm not him. No, you know, you're supposed to remember what he went through. I'm remembering for your sins. I'm trying to remember. I suddenly am Sister Mary Teresa from 1993. She just got out the ruler. She's going to come over here and slap my hands with the ruler. I'm pretty sure for Lent, you don't get weekends off. You don't say I'm giving up chocolate except only during the week. That's not how it works. I'm pretty sure about that. I think it depends on how hard it is to do. No. What? You're telling me that I'm. You need more guilt. Oh, no. I thought I was doing so well. It was hard to do. Yeah, it is hard to do. That's the whole point. That's the whole point. Do you think it was easy for Jesus? No. Oh, man. Gary and she will continue. Now I've got to go to confession. We'll do Swamp Watch when we come back. You're listening to Gary and Shannon on demand from KFI AM 640. Have you come up with your excuse yet for Menefi?

Remember, you could use colonoscopy. You could tell your boss today, oh, hey, just so you know, I just saw next Friday, I've got to be out, I've got a procedure, I've got a colonoscopy or what have you. I think you should also get it done, but it also works as a pretty good excuse. To go to Menophe. You can say I'm going to be in Menopheed or you shouldn't disclose. It's too close to home. I wouldn't bring up the M word with anybody. You know, you just sometimes you've got to go to Menopheed and nobody's got to know about it. And I think this is one of those times. You know, when you get a colonoscomy, they don't let you out of the facility until you've ripped a big fart to make sure. That is true. Make sure all your pieces are attached inside. And I would like Gary to get a microphone on that so he can share it with the audience. Great show. Have a good day. Okay, I just texted him how big was the fart. Oh, you're good. Oh, it says he read that. Oh, he's writing back. Oh, wow. He's quick. He's just sitting there. He is quick. He must be waiting to fart. Oh, he might. He's probably just sitting there. You're absolutely right. And he was like, should we speed this along? How do we help him? How do we help him? How do we make? Is there any fart music, Elmer, that exists on the internet? I'm going to look for it. I don't think you want to Google fart music. Yeah, but I mean, if you're hearing it. Oh, oh, you mean like the something about the frequency. Yeah. High motility audio file. Right, right, right. He's been typing for a while here. I don't know. This is. Ah, he says, a handful of good medium-sized ones to greet the recovery nurse, Mimi. She laughed. Oh, you know, I guess that you probably got to have a sense of humor. Excellent. If you are doing that job. If you're a recovery nurse, you're Mimi, like, you're seeing people coming out of Propaful. Your job is to make sure they fart before they leave, you know? And you don't want, you don't want any. people to pretend. Does she have to hear it? Or can she be out of the room? You let one go and then she comes in and she just takes your word for it. You're like, yeah, I just farted, you know, a couple minutes ago. Or does she think you're lying to get out of there? She has to, for legal reasons, like actually write down. Does she have to hear it? See, that would be really uncomfortable to have a stranger here. You pass gas, right? That's what that would sound like. Thank you. Thank you, Elmer. I had forgotten what farts sounded like up until. But I'm glad we played. There we go. There's some more. I was looking for music, not just like that raw sound. Yeah, because it's not like throwing up where people like hear. Like it to be nice. You know, I'd like it to be nice. I think a low drum and bass situation. Like there's got to be songs about farting. I can hear about pooping. Right. I hear Elmer cackling through the wall. Right. And you hear him laughing. He's like literally laughing through the wall. Yeah. You can turn your mic on, Buster. That's fun. This is really good. All right. Well, we know we're, we know how to reach a younger audience now. We sure do. Do you want to reach more? Elmer, do you have any more of those in there? You know? No, he's out. He's tapped out. He can leave now. Wow. Oh, that was a pretty good one. There's a base to that. Yeah, that was. Okay. Should we talk about what's happening in?

Yeah, it's time. It's time for swap watch. How apropos. I'm a politician, which means I'm a cheat and a liar. And when I'm not kissing babies, I'm stealing their lollipops. Here we go. The real problem is that our leaders are dumb. The other side never quits. What are you doing in my swamp? I'm not going anywhere. So dumb. That is how you drain the swamp. I can imagine what can be and be unburdened by what has been, you know? Americans have always been going. Act presidential. But they're not stupid. A political blunder is when a politician actually tells the truth. People voted for you with nice. Swamp watch. They're all counting on. Well, apparently Pete Hegseth wanted to join the Your Fired Party yesterday, ousting Army Chief of Staff General Randy George and Army General David Hodney, blindsided military leaders, apparently. And now there is some concern among defense officials about the implications for the war in Iran and just longer term as well. There's a growing list of generals and flag officers that have been booted by Pete Hegseth, the defense secretary. And it's reshaped the Joint Chiefs of Staff. This was not apparently motivated by clashing personalities. It was motivated by clashing personalities and not disagreements over, you know, the army and him doing his job. Apparently, Hakesh just didn't like him. And that's how you handle things. But during war, I mean, whatever you want to call it. An official told Axios, here's a four-star general who's actually working to get equipment and people into theater. And he doesn't mean like AMC. He's talking about actual war to protect U.S. forces. And you fire him in the middle of war. This, of course, while the Army's 82nd Airborne Division is bound for the Middle East. You know. I think a lot of times when things aren't going well, heads will roll. Yeah. Speaking of that, Todd Blanche, who Trump has named to temporarily lead the Justice Department after Pam Bondi was canned, where did he come from? Well, most recently he served for more than a year as Deputy Attorney General, the number two spot overseeing daily operations. Also, Trump's personal attorney. helped Trump survive multiple criminal cases between his terms and office. So you got a loyalist placeholder there before you bring in what everyone assumes to be the head of the now EPA who has rolled back Obama era protections of the environment with no problem whatsoever to come in and be the bulldog in that role of attorney general for a president who's very frustrated and wants more heads to roll to use your term. Conservative Supreme Court Samuel Alito Samuel Alito was secretly rushed to the hospital last month. In a previously uncovered event, Demand Justice is a liberal advocacy group that was created to oppose President Trump's agenda. Is saying that Donald Trump could soon appoint another conservative justice to the bench. He, of course, is 76 years old. He's the second oldest member of the bench. He was secretly admitted to the hospital last month.

Wasn't that nice of monks and Meryl to come in and welcome you? I learned so much every single time I talked to them. There's so many things about the world that are still to discover. You know, surgeries people have gone through. Looking at Merrill, I would have thought they were real. So I think. You think he made that up? No, I'm saying the surgery that he had, I thought that they were real. They seemed spectacular. Yeah. Well, they were real. Yeah. What? They're not real? Why wouldn't they be real? What are you talking about? I was doing a bit. Oh. I'm sorry. This is, I'll see myself out. Oh, you were doing like their AI. Like they're not real? He had surgery. And I was like, I think if you would have told me that his were real, I would have believed you. Because it's like a reference to him having cosmetic surgery. Oh, boobs. I was taking it in a different. Yeah. I was saying he's doing the Byron Gnome move. I see. I see. Well, I guess technically Byron Gnome is undisturbed surgically. Yeah. The thing is the sort of process of putting... Chris Merrill has not had breasts implanted. As far as... He doesn't even have man breasts. I think it's a straight... You know what? Now we're inappropriate. And now he's got a lawsuit. You know the thing about him is that he's only 6.3, right? We found out last time, which is impossible because it seems like he's 6.7 or 6.8. He seems like a much taller guy than that. Right. Yeah. This is a fun headline for the Nuggets. That's right. We'll just dive right in. Here's honorable mention. Honorable Mention. Not supposed to mention. I was going to mention it when time was right. There's never a policy, not to mention it. It's been an honor serving with you. I thought. Didn't I mention it on an honor it is? Great and honorable, Moses. So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member of Honorable Mention. My defense, they're real, is like a joke that I haven't heard in 20 years. Am I like out of the demo? Because breast implants are so commonplace. And they're so good. And they're so good. And it's not a big deal to know. Not anymore. Yeah. Well, we've been having a 1993 flashback. That's right. Yeah. And it's been spectacular. I love it when somebody decides to rip off their company and thinks they're going to get away with it. And that's exactly what happened in New Jersey. A guy who worked for the transit company there stole $1.3 million worth of cell phones. Apparently under his. duties was the ability for the transit company to be able to buy electronic devices for use by employees using the transit agency funds. And he did. He bought more than a thousand. And he didn't need him. No. You only need maybe two. You need a work phone and a home phone. You don't need a thousand. I've got a friend who works for a governmental agency and I'm convinced that the administrative person in the office has been bilking. Oh, for sure. For years. Why not? Go for it. That's like part of the agreement. You know, you get to work on a bureaucracy. You have to be there. By the way, this article from nj.com, which stands for New Jersey, is.

The man is from formerly of Hackensack and now lives in Little Fairy. So when they wrote the headline, it reads, Little Fairy Man stole a thousand cell phones. Great headline. And I thought that we were talking like Leslie Jim Jordan, Little Fairy, some man who was. Yeah, I know. It would have been better if he was a Little Fairy Man. It would have been perfect last week, two weeks ago. Number nine. Number nine. I did nine plays. If a cop's dirty, nine times out of tennis partners, 32. And I speak nine languages. I stay up till nine o'clock. Basically everybody at table nine. I feel ready to go another nine in. Nineer. Did I catch a nineer in there? Were you calling for my walkie-talkie? Man, this is just a show of a-hole getting away with fraud and ripping people off. And Mount Everest guides are no different. Apparently they've been drugging foreign climbers to trigger expensive evacuations. Amazing. What a scary terror. Like, can you, going up to one of the most dangerous places on Earth? Hi. Hi. And then get drugged and thinking, like, I don't feel too good. Like you've been prepping for Mount Everest for years and you get there and you're in great physical shape and you're ready to go and somebody slips some mushrooms or acid into your tea. Right. And you're tripping balls up there. You're like that I-Oaska from last night really isn't agreeing with me today. Is there anything more terrifying than like clamping being, I don't even know what the terminology is going to say clamp-ons? Clampons. Like. When you're, you know, picking through ice. And then all of a sudden, you're high. You got like the spins. What? You and your friends are like, we should really do a web show about this. Yeah, $20 million is how much that they allegedly were able to charge climbers and insurers. Police had more than 300 cases of alleged fake rescues have been uncovered, affecting 4,000. 800 international climbers over the course of three years. I mean, part of me likes it when the rich people are like, we're going to go climb Everest and they're just going to pay their way into the whole thing. But this is too far. No, it's too far. Number eight. Oh, eight is enough. It would be great if you could make a figure eight. A child is born every eight seconds. Listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements. Crazy. There's a company in California. Apparently this chocolate it's been selling is laced with Viagra and Cialis. Yes. So be careful. Oh, where can I get this? Well, here's the deal. The recalled products are called Gold Lion Aphrodisiac chocolate male enhancement sachet. Is that what that's S-A-C-H-E-T? Sure, Sashay. And a loom sex chocolate male sexual enhancement booster. So you're already buying chocolate to make your penis do the things, right? I mean, I think actually in some way, this is...

More than advertised because who's actually going to a sex job and buying this kind of thing and thinking that there's legitimate medicine in it. Oh, P.S. I watched the Lamar Odom Untold documentary on Netflix. When he was found at the brothel, the Bunny Ranch, he took 12 of the male enhancement pills that you're supposed to only take one in 24 hours and he took 12 in a matter of like 10 minutes. Well. How tall is he? That's true. That's true. It can allegedly cause a life-threatening drop in blood pressure when mixed with nitrates founded prescription drugs. So people who are taking nitrates for cardiac conditions, which are generally older people, especially older men. Right. It's a combo that you don't want. Yeah. So just be careful with your boner chocolate. Number seven. The seventh son of the seventh son. Can I say that? We're on for seven days. Seven days. Seven. Seven eight. Yeah, you did. Thank you for jumping. I'm a feeling, so I don't know this. I'm glad that you jumped in that boat with me. Yeah. We got a kangaroo that escaped a petting zoo to which I say a round of applause. Chesney, the kangaroo. scaled an eight-foot fence and went on the lamb for three days. This happened at a Sunshine Farm in Wisconsin. I was sure we were going to be talking about Australia. And here we are. Apparently there are kangaroos in Wisconsin. He was only 16 months old. And she, the keeper, Debbie Marland. trekked hither and yawn, so AP says, about 160 miles northwest of Milwaukee. What are we doing putting kangaroos in Wisconsin? Of course they're going to try to jump out. It's insane. They chased reported sightings and even rented heat-seeking drones. That is what proved effective. 37,000 steps a day is how many Debbie says she was putting in to find him. Number six is terrifying. I got six, you got six, she got six. Number six. Dude, there's six more weeks a winner. When have a picture of me or rabbi and six drunk and longshore money? Why don't we just stick her in a nursing home closer to us? Drink another six pack. Number six. I was just talking to a friend about this that has this like fear about eye stuff. Like anything touching their eye, any sort of LASIC surgery, any eye exam. It's just. It's a thing. And small black flies with a wicked bite are swarming parts of the San Gabriel Valley. From Azusa to Altadena, they're smaller than mosquitoes, but more aggressive, and they aim for your eyes. They bite your eyes. Do you know why? Because they're drawn to human breath and salty moisture. That's awful. That's around your eyes. They are being described as little demons. Yeah. I'm going to start shooting these things. Good luck. Residents are really struggling now. So the vector control says, overwhelmed with the amount of black flies. Are you noticing any of this? No. In the SGV? I've been to the SGV a lot and I haven't seen a black fly. Maybe my eyes are too dry. Oh, that's terrifying. Can you imagine a bug flying into your eye and the rest of the nuggets are on their way? That sound is going to give me.

Name it. That's when you're trying to sleep and it's, what the... Oh, God. Oh. You're listening to Gary and Shannon on demand from KFI AM 640. I first learned about Kristi Noem's husband on when I was recording an episode. And I pulled up the photos. And I have not ever in my life just been so... Unable to articulate what I was looking. Like my brain couldn't process. I know. There's too many details. There's too many things. I know. It's like a madlib or like if you try to diagram a sentence and there's too many lines going. I was the same way. It was this corner of the internet. I didn't know existed and I like to be on top of things. Yes. Well, not everything. I like to have my finger on the pulse of the dark parts of the web just so I know what people are into. You can know how to talk about it. This was a blind spot for me. It was very confusing and I still think like I listened back. I had to delete the episode because it was just me going. Oh. Yeah. Oh. We're all trying to process. This. More news nuggets coming your way. Number five. For five minutes. I have five rules. We begin bombing in five minutes. Five little monkeys. This is the year 5.5.

be a favor and lose five pounds immediately. Okay, so tell me all about this. A Minnesota woman is convicted on charges of gross misdemeanor harassment, domestic assault, and disorderly conduct after she tossed a tarantula at the person who is staying in her Airbnb. That is just the beginning of this nightmare tenant landlord relationship. It's happened in Minnesota. She's also a current candidate for U.S. Senate. She previously ran an unsuccessful campaign for the commissioner of Henneman County. This is how it all started. She was acting erratically towards a woman who was running out the basement of her home. This woman was studying for her bar exam. And the guest, I guess, saw that there was some kind of infestation of large spiders. Oh my gosh. So the woman asks. are Marissa Simonetti if she could call it pest control. And the woman said no. The guest called police because this is a little bit later. Simonetti, the landlord was intercepting grocery delivery and refusing to hand the items over. The next day the guest called 911 multiple times due to harassment. At first, she said that upstairs Simonetti was clanging pots and pans while she was trying to study for the bar. Also, that she'd shut off the internet. Made her feel scared. Audio captures a fight between them where she, this politician there, is yelling and hollering about Jesus, talking about the tarantula that she just bought and saying this is why you never F with Marissa Simonetti. The victim's video shows Simonetti throwing the tarantula from a container and then spraying something on the stairs. Then from upstairs she throws tacks and other items down the stairwell. I wonder why she was not elected. Number four. Holy hell. People. Give me the guy in the boobs shirt. I know. Number four. Number four minutes. He's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now. Commandment number four. There goes the Fourth Amendment. This isn't the same world you left four years ago. City of Ithaca has gotten a whole bunch of money to fill potholes. Ten billion dollars in grant money and they say no thank you. They don't want it. An inside source spoke on the condition of anonymity confirmed that the city declined a $10 million grant because they say officials love the potholes. Uh-oh, if you watched Andy on KTLA, you would have learned that he hates April Fool's joke, and this apparently is one. Ethicavoice.org. We got had. Got us. Well, I don't know. I mean, we knew, but we wanted to include it so that you could have something. Is this your angry face? I think this is a pretty good one because they didn't start it out saying... Right. April fools. Well, and potholes can be kind of fun if you're into like a, you know, a challenge. Is that a category that you like to do visit on the internet that you keep up on? Pothole stuff. Pot hole stuff. Number three. Three shall be the number thou shalt count and the number of the counting shall be three. They were dead within three hours. Three.

Security clearance level three. All three of you. Three. I got all three you guys for the rest of your natural born lives. After about three days, they both start to stink. Three. This is irony. Man is due in court for an auto theft case. And what does he do? He drives a stolen vehicle to the courthouse. Nice. It happened Tuesday. At least he's consistent. March 24th, the multi-agency detail combating auto theft task force. That is an easy thing to put on your business card. Sound fun at parties. Found Richard Otero pulling into the Salinas courthouse, driving a vehicle that had been reported stolen out of San Jose. You know what you're going to get with him? Number two. Consistent. What's going on, you two? Pick out two fingers. One, two. There are two people in this house. There's two sons and no women. Two ringing dingy. Here's another guy who, again, you know, at least he's showing you who he is. He has a warrant for his arrest and he was arrested when he applied to the local city police department. Commerce City Police announced it on social media saying, sigh. S-I-G-H. You ever have a warrant out for your arrest? Me? Yeah. I've been to jail. But I didn't have a warrant. What did you go to jail for? D.Y. However, I was sober. Oh. It was so lame. Wow. I wish I would have been under the influence. How did that word? I got pulled over and they said I was drunk and I blew zeros and then they said I was high and you can't test for that immediately. Right. So they took me to jail and I was there for about 16 hours. That's the kind of personality Andy Reesmeyer brings. That's exactly right. He presents high and drunk when pulled over stone cold sober. Number one. We're number one. You're a number one, Ben. That's all the count. I decided to look out for number one. Are you the number one? Rule number one. Number one. You're from Indiana. You know that. There are chicken coops there? Oh, yeah. We got all. Oh, yeah. Whole city. You ever been to a stabbing and a chicken coop? I was invited once, but I had something else. You had a thing. Warren has been issued for the rest of a woman after a stabbing inside a chicken coop. It happened in West Virginia. Mountain Mama. It was a father and daughter who said they were residing inside the chicken coop. She was asleep inside it when the suspect Anna attempted to break in. The father heard someone say, I'm going to kill you. Wait, do you live? Do people live inside chicken coops? This is new to me. This is new to me, too. I've only ever seen chickens living in chicken coops. Kids, this is your periodical message from the Gary and Shannon show, not to do meth. Yeah, that's... This, to me, reeks of meth. This does seem very meth. People living in a chicken coop and a chicken coop. Father-daughter. It's a lot of domestic stabbing happening. Too much. Kids, don't do meth. Tough to do this the week of April Fool's because of all of these stories that seem like they could not. They could be made up. That is true. Very true. But here we are. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. It's always a pleasure. It feels like this was five minutes this show. Heck yeah.

Monks and Merrill are coming up next. We will see you Monday. Gary, all cleaned out and new for you. Stay dry out there. This is KFI. You've been listening to the Gary and Shannon Show. You can always hear us live on KFI AM 640, 9 a.m. to noon every Monday through Friday and any time on demand on the IHeart Radio app.